Random Musings

Is it me? Or does the world's oldest person die everyday?

When did the word "gay" stop meaning happy and the word "puss" stop meaning mouth? I would love to bring that back.

When will they make a movie called, A Day Without Esperanto?

If JD Salinger will come out of his reclusive life and hold a press conference to say, it's pronounced Sal EENGER. Then walk away.

If a Native American will answer Glen Campbell's Rhinestone Cowboy with a song called Sequined Indian.

By the way, my power to kill celebrities wears off on others

I forgot to mention if you know me, you soon get the vibe to kill celebrities. For instance, my father in law within days killed Red Buttons and Glenn Ford by asking if they were still alive.

Well yesterday, I was driving in the car with my wife and Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby came on. My wife uttered the famous words, She's still alive right?

Sorry Eartha, did not mean to put a damper on you on Xmas. But I guess I really know when it is time to go.

Christmas Memories

I love Christmas. Whether it is raining, snowing or the sun is shining, it is always a beautiful day.

I hope everyone has a a great holiday. With that, I would like to share one of my favorite quotes from the late New York Yankee legend Billy Martin that he said leaving his family to go home on Christmas night.

"Oh, I can drive."

Thanks Billy! Happy Holidays!!

Dear Santa, I would like a Hannah Montana Jacket, Jonas Brothers Concert Tickets oh and for Uncle Andres to stop molesting me and my sister

I guess Santa wanted to be the only one who sneaks into peoples homes at night.

A nine-year old girl in Texas wrote a letter to Santa and asked him to stop molesting her and her sister. According to Yahoo:

Police allege that for as long as four years, Andres Enrique Cantu sexually abused the girls in their bedrooms while they slept or did their homework. Cantu is a computer lab aide at an alternative high school but has not been accused of crimes against students there.

The 9-year-old's plea to Santa, written as a school assignment, launched the investigation and led to the first charge of continuous sexual abuse last week. On Tuesday, Cantu was accused of abusing the girl's older sister, who was also mentioned in the letter.


Way to go Kris Kringle!

LOOK, I HAVE A BEER!

I have always wondered why people say I only smoke when I drink. I am a firm believer those who do act as if they are still think they are in High School/College trying to garner attention and say, “Hey! Look what I can do.” It's like if your are going to smoke, SMOKE!

On that note, here is another attention grabbing item that drives me insane. The head tilting, look everybody I have a beer in my hand picture.

You know who you are. You are getting ready to pose for a picture and your beer (or alcoholic beverage of choice) must be in the shot coupled with the head tilt. Even worse are those whose beverage is on the table and they pick it up to include it in the shot and put it back down when the picture is over. This does not age discriminate either.

Since the keen eye cannot tell you are drinking a beer, you tilt your head towards the beer to acknowledge that you have the beer and you actually are drinking and enjoying this beverage. Good for you!!! You did it!!

Please, if you see this person, regardless of age, punch them in the face for me.

Look at these jack asses!

Wedding CD's

Weddings can sometimes be really fun. One of the cool ideas I think that has been around for a few years are the wedding Cd's. But now, I am over it and here is why.

I was just talking to my colleague Christine who told me she was listening to a wedding CD and Motley Crue's "Without You" came on. Because without you I am nothing or as the song says, without you I will slowly wilt and die. ENOUGH!

We Belong, Without You, I Can't Live if living is without you! Shania Twain, Rascal Flatts, Celine Dion or Mariah Carey??!! Grow a pair people. We know you love each other. Aren't we here because of this? Do I need to have a copy of these ridiculous songs to make that evident? Aren't we watching your first dance to this against our will?

Make a CD that makes people remember how cool this wedding was. Not what some dude or chick who did not write the song for you! That is why Frank Zappa said he did not write ballads. So some schmuck would sit there and go, this is about me or about us. NO, IT IS NOT!

My wedding music was brilliant. How many weddings had KISS or Pat Boone singing Judas Priest? Throw in some Louis Prima, Sinatra. Damn, even some 50 cent who I can care less for. Songs that make people have a good time, not turning into a sappy love fest of swimming in your love ocean.

JUST STOP IT! Seriously, STOP IT!

Macaulay Culkin's Sister Killed in Traffic Accident

Earlier this week, Macauley Culkin's sister was killed in a traffic accident in LA.

This makes me wonder if everyone made this face when they found out?

Scratch the Ability to Break Coconuts off the List

Add Mr. Bentley to the list

For most people that know me, they know that I have the power to kill celebrities just by thinking about them. Some of my victims are:

Harvey Korman
Rudy Ray Moore
Jane Wyman
David Brinkley
John Denver
Anna Nicole Smith

Today is no different. Yesterday for some reason I was thinking that except George and Mr. Bentley, that pretty much the entire cast of the Jefferson's is dead.

I go to the LATIMES.COM and see this today!!!

Paul Benedict, the actor who played the eccentric English neighbor Harry Bentley on the sitcom "The Jeffersons," was found dead Monday at his home on Martha's Vineyard, Mass. He was 70.

I always tend to get people saying, well don't think about me! I always tell them that it only works with celebs/well known people.

Usually it starts out by reading something or a random thought and then I think, I wonder what happened to this person. For example:

One day I am reading a book and I see a name that I thought said David Brinkley. I then thought, what ever happened to him. Dead the next day.

Another day when I was in college, somebody was talking about John Denver. I thought to myself, there is a guy you do not see anymore. Next day, dead in a plane crash.

Usually I give myself a two week grace period. But it does not take that long.

I am magical!

I swear, I sometimes scare myself. Yet somehow remain enamored.

Buffalo Soldier vs. The Theme Song from the Banana Splits

I would like to call out Bob Marley for being a plagiarist.

The next time you have an opportunity, listen to his Buffalo Soldier vs. The Banana Splits theme.

Right after the Buffalo Soldier chorus you hear WOAH YO YO, WOAH YO YO YO, etc.

If you are not old enough, here is the Youtube clip. Notice the Tra La La, Tra La, La, La. Sound familiar?



And they call Bob a genius!! HA!

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve # 32 - People who sound like they are eating when they talk.

Just some ramblings

I am really hoping the fat one wins on Biggest Loser.

I am looking forward to Heroes getting canceled so I no longer have to hear people talk about how miserable their lives are.

Is it okay to call a baby ugly?

Maybe American Idol is not so bad...

I never understood the fascination with reality TV. To me, it is like people who want to jump off a bridge or a building to get attention. This is why you never see footage of this on a newscast or even people who jump on a field during a sporting event.

This is another reason why I do not watch American Idol. To me, it is about people who want to win a contest and become famous and never of heard again. Yay Taylor whats his name or that dude that looks like a fat Shaquille O'Neal. Kelly Clarkson is about as bookable these days as Magic Johnson at a KKK rally.

The bottom line is I respect others who are working their tales off in clubs and parties to earn a living and get signed. Not somebody whose hit song will be about as memorable as Gerald Ford's Vice President.

But maybe this can change if I see more of this!

The police found the body of train wreck Paula Goodspeed on the lawn of train wreck Paula Abdul. According to Reuters, the death appeared to be an overdose on prescription drugs. In Paula Goodspeed's car was in the Paula's car with Abdul CD's and pictures of her.

Ok, first of all, who in the hell has Paula Abdul CD'S? I get it if you were 12 in 1989 and you still own Forever Your Girl. But multiple CD's? Isn't that a clear sign?

That being said, I would watch American Idol for reasons like this! Crazy stalkers who go on reality TV and then take their own life on the host/judges lawn!

You didn't pick me? I'll show you by killing...myself! Ha, I win!

Here is some video of her. Please cue Twilight Zone theme:

Paula Goodspeed - Proud Mary!
by Mr-Tee

Mom, I want to die just like you, watching the Black Hawks.

If I had a nickel for every mom and child that died at a hockey game, I would have 10 cents.

This week, long time Chicago Black Hawks fan Marguerite Kuhlman collapsed and died while watching her favorite team at the United Center.

The ironic part is that her mother died while watching the Blackhawks 22 years earlier at the Old Chicago Stadium.

All I can say is I hope I am never near a Kuhlman if I am watching a game in Chicago.

Can a Morning Smell Any Sweeter?

In my almost 34 years of existence, I do not think I ever woke up feeling the way I do today. Maybe that will change once my child is born, but this feeling is filled with amazement and most of all, hope.

Think about it, not even 50 years ago blacks could not sit in the same section in a restaurant. It wasn't until 1959 the Boston Red Sox inserted Pumpsie Green into their lineup as their first African-American baseball player.

Now, we have our first African-American as President of the United States. A man who will walk up to the Capitol Building on steps that were built by slaves.

We have heard the voices sing "We Shall Overcome" for quite some time now. Well, for the most part and barring some sickos out there, we have.

Somewhere, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Rosa Parks are having a party and loving every minute of this.

And for those who say, not all is won, Proposition 8 passed. Well in my eyes, it did.

We have 5 million people in this world who believe in discrimination and you know what? How big would that number have been 4 years ago? 8 years ago?

Our society, as evident in our President Elect, is evolving. Our children will see what is wrong as does every generation. Many of the old generation and religious zealots who believe in discrimination or as my friend Ron puts it, making gay people have less value as human beings, will eventually die. Just as we saw our nation progress as does every generation, we will see this pass.

We will see this pass.

25 Million Thanks!

I would like to congratulate the Church of the Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for donating 25 million dollars to fund the Vote Yes on Proposition 8.

Lets face it. No religion on the face of the earth values marriage more than the Church of Latter Day Saints.

Thank God that money did not go to funding education programs, research to fight diseases such as Cancer or AIDS or helping shelter our homeless and hungry. But important issues such as stopping loving people who want to marry.

Maybe because it is just one person they want to marry? Nah!

Good for you Obadiah!

Run Away Timmy, they're coming!!!!

As Americans, we pride ourselves in being a country that is diverse. A country that welcomes everyone with open arms. Unfortunately, many cultures, let alone genders have had to struggle to gain respect and their rights along the way.

When you see a country on the verge of electing its first African American President or if an upset is made, female Vice-President, you think we have come a long way. Somehow, it just does not feel like it and this time, it hits where I live.

Here in California, we have a Proposition called Prop 8. Prop 8 is an initiative that would eliminate the right for Same-Sex couples to marry. Many conservatives and religious zealots fear gay marriage because of what it could mean for society and their children who may have to learn about this in school. Many of those who are for this proposition feel they have progressed by “allowing” civil unions and feel that is enough. How very Christian of them.

The ads for why people are against it are quite hysterical:



First of all, what school even teaches this or has children books on marriage? Are their children’s books on why Mommy is an angry monster for one week every month? So let’s say a child does bring a book home, what is the difference in teaching this and letting them know where babies come from? You have to tell them the truth right?

When people get married, most do so for love, commitment, keeping immigrants in the country and bets. Ok, maybe not the latter. But basically it is a legal and registered relationship between a “husband and wife.” Married couples even have the benefit to file taxes jointly and raise their own children together.

Now Civil Unions are only recognized in a handful of states including California. If you think about it, C.U. has many of the same rights as married couples. Partners have federal benefits, such as if a partner dies assuming his or hers Social Security Benefits, sick leave for if your partner becomes ill, tax breaks, veterans benefits and insurance breaks.

So it seems the main difference here between marriage and a civil union is that two gay/lesbian couples cannot make a child together. Besides when they show their affection towards one another in public it’s icky.



I guess having a loving Gay/Lesbian couple adopting or having a child is way worse than a woman having her 8th child for extra welfare payments, an athlete having 15 illegitimate children nationwide or teenagers having unprotected sex and becoming parents. Well if your Mom is Governor of Alaska, you may have some cash coming in.

Once again, progress has stopped in its tracks. As a nation we have a chance to do something special, yet there are those out there who are scared beyond belief of 8 year old Timmy learning about homosexuals. This is much worse than hearing about murders on television or hearing about the War in Iraq.

Run away Timmy, the homosexuals are coming!!!

Seriously, wouldn’t monsters be more friendly if they all sounded and looked like Paul Lynde?

There are more important things to worry about people.

So say Obama was an Arab

After hearing that woman at the Sarah Palin rally not wanting to vote for Obama because he was an “Arab,” I did not know whether to laugh or feel upset. However, the more I thought about it, I wondered how people actually view me? Well, other than being that loud obnoxious guy.

I do know that when I talk to most people, they usually do not see a Lebanese guy. I am always amazed at the reaction though once I tell them I am Lebanese. It is almost like I just came out of the closet or told them something shocking such as, I have 7 illegitimate children in Thailand.

Really??

I cannot believe it!

No Way!

Prior to September of 2001, I really did not get that reaction. It probably wasn’t until I graduated high school that I embraced it because, to be honest, I was somewhat embarrassed. In reality, there were not many Arabs around me growing up and all the Armenian kids were so Armenian that I needed a flag to sail on my lawn.

Plus, it’s not like I was Asian or Black where you wear your ethnicity on your skin. But outside of family where I did embrace my culture, I told everyone I was Italian, which is not a lie because I am through my great-grandmother. But I am not Italian enough to start a Scungilli farm.

These McCain/Palin rallies are beyond scary and not because you can barely see a person of color. Just the reactions of what people seem to believe makes it evident that they want the “South” to rise again.

Ok, so what if Obama is an Arab, Black or Muslim? What is so wrong with that? Isn’t that what makes America so great? Did my generation learn anything from the School House Rock Song the “Great American Melting Pot?”

Just watch this video and tell me your reaction:




Do any of these people who are voting for McCain really understand who Arabs, Muslims or anyone who is not white are? Let’s stick with Arabs here. Take a look at this list. Many of them share the same views and were in the cabinets of Republican Presidents:

• Selwa Roosevelt, American Ambassador and longest-serving White House Chief of Protocol (1982-1989)
• George Mitchell, Former U.S. Senate Majority Leader; Lebanese on his mother's side.
• Donna Shalala, Former Secretary of State for Health and Human Services under the Clinton Administration (and the longest to serve in the post)
• John E. Sununu Sr, Former Governor (NH) and White House Chief of Staff (1989-1991)
• John Elway
• Doug Flutie
• Bobby Rahal
EVEN A NASCAR DRIVER! COME ON NOW!

My family has been in the US since the 1860’s. They have served in World Wars I and II, Korea and Vietnam for you, me and everyone in between. I won’t even get into my cousin Bobby sacrificing his own life 7 years ago. All of them shared the same vision, and that of course is the American Dream.

The funny thing is most Arabs here and overseas, share the same values and beliefs as most conservative Republicans. Some may say, even more so. Yet for some reason, many of the non Arab culture think we are going to ride around on our magic carpets and murder the masses as we scream AY YI YI YI YI holding a machete.

I am in fact in the minority in my family for being liberal. Which of course makes it all the much better when I hear they are not voting for McCain. That really shows you something is wrong in this current state of affairs if Arab-Americans are not voting Republican.

Maybe there is a change coming after all…

Jesus is a Democrat!

It really is a shame that elections that are close come down to church and state. It furstrates me when people politicize 2 things in our country that have nothing to do with each other. Even at the Republican National Convention, you could drink everytime you heard God's name. So here is my reasoning why Jesus is really a Democrat,in addition to a hip-hop producer and NFL coach.

Please keep in mind that although I am Catholic, I am not religous whatsoever. So here is my Top Ten list.

10. He uses natural resources to solve hunger
9. He loves everyone
8. He is a teacher and most teachers that do not live in backwards states that teach creationism are democrats.
7. He was on top of our health care system. I mean, who else could heal the lepers?
6. He never got angry. Just a little ticked when he wondered why he was getting cruicified.
5. Acknowledges and helps Hurricane victims. Remember, he calmed a storm on the Sea of Galilee.
4. Cut taxes from the Wealthy - Remember when he performed a simple miracle in order to satisfy those who demanded the temple tax.
3. He brought the booze and shared with all!
2. When a country was lost, he led the way rather then setting us further apart.
1. He's Jewish!!!

7 Years Ago

Man, has it truly been seven years that this happened? I think many of this generation, let alone anyone old enough can talk about where they were when this happened.

Jill and I were still living in San Francisco. After I got out of the shower she said it looks like a plane has hit the WTC. I really did not think about too much as I thought it was a small plane. Then on the radio, I found out it was a 747. I began to freak out because I thought to myself, my cousin Paul works there and I hope he is ok. Then another plane hit and then the buildings fell. I started to get worried. I remember I arrived at my desk at work very nervous. I went into my supervisor’s office and literally cried. Anyone who knows me, I am not emotional in sad events. Heck, I do not even cry at funerals and read the obituaries. Yet, somehow I was upset and I just went home.

I remember just being numb, like the life was sucked out of me for about a week. I spoke with my Dad that day and he told me that Paul was ok. Like the shmuck I was, I emailed Paul to ask me for details of what it was like. My Dad though gave me some other shocking news, that my cousin Bobby was supposed to be at the WTC and so far nobody heard from him.

So the day goes by and nothing from Bobby. We also found out, he was going to the WTC for a seminar to better himself. Days went by and we heard nothing. Like so many of the families, our family sent out alerts looking for him and pictures. Unfortunately, he was gone.

Let’s make one thing clear. I knew who Bobby was, but in my lifetime, I do not believe we ever met and I know we never spoke on the phone. But I felt a connection for one reason, Deraney. For anyone that knows me, I love my family more than anything. Whether the last name is Deraney, Boustany, Kearns, Kassis or Gabor, I will fight for them, regardless of the situation and without hesitation.

Other than my immediate family, I never was really close to the Deraney side. After my grandparents divorced and the eventual death of my Grandfather, the Deraney family was something you heard about from others. But I always kept an ear out because it is my family and plain and simple I really wanted to be part of it but did not know how.


So a few days after the tragedy, I started getting forwards from Michelle (Mimi) Haobsh who was Bobby’s sister. I also knew of Mimi and realized, God forbid something else happens (thank God I did) and I would never talk to her or anyone else on that side of the Deraney family that was so far removed from my world.

So, I decided to email her. I introduced myself in case she had no idea who I was and almost immediately, Mimi and I started emailing each other back and forth on a daily basis. We both admitted to each other that we were always anticipating emails from each other every day like school kids. She would tell me about times with my Dad and my grandfather (her Uncle Ray) and about her family. I told her how much everyone loved her mom, Aunt Gette, and all the great things my Dad would say about her. She told me that she had Breast Cancer (which at the time was in remission) and how instrumental Bobby was in helping her seek treatment.

Now, I talk with my family on that side constantly. I even found out that more Deraney’s that were also suffering Miami Dolphin fans like myself. What are the chances of that? If it was not for Bobby and this horrible day, I would not have met Mimi, who passed away 2 years ago and would never have known my Deraney cousins, Aunts and Uncles.

Thank you Bobby for the best gift I could receive, my family. You are truly missed by all and I am forever grateful of the sacrifice you and thousands of others have made.

The Great American Melting Pot

It really is fascinating to watch the Democratic National Convention and the Republican National Convention.

Both are high energy events that bristle with enthusiasm. People from all over come to hear speeches from candidates who relate how exactly they feel.

Now if you go back and watch the conventions, take a look at the crowds when the camera is panning around. How many people of race can you count at the RNC and DNC?

I mean, regardless of how you feel to your party, I think it is safe to say that one party celebrates diversity of not only what this country is about, but also what the world is all about. Black, White, Hispanic, young and old from all over the country came out with one mission, change.

The other party? It's the good ol' boys. Seriously, how many white haired men and women were in the crowd over the age of 60? I am not sure if I saw anyone of color, let alone different color of hair at the convention. If there was, you probably could count it on a hand or two.

Xenophobia is alive and well. Or maybe just phobia which seems to be more of the message.

McCain, what are you thinking?

Seriously, what in the world is John McCain thinking.

Let's say McCain dies. We have a person taking over with about as much experience as the kid who cleans erasers in class. I think it is wonderful that he selected a woman, but one with no experience?

A mayor of a town the size of a locker room and a governor of a state that pretty much runs itself? I cannot wait to see Biden against her in a debate. He is going to mop her up faster than the pine sol lady. Finally a VP debate worth watching.

Smoking and Driving

OK, I get the need for people to smoke. But why can't people put their cigarette butts in an ashtray when they are done?

Seriously, you are willing to stink up the car, your clothes and ruin your lungs. But heaven forbid you keep the finished product in the ashtray and toss it out the window.