December 30, 2008

Random Musings

Is it me? Or does the world's oldest person die everyday?

When did the word "gay" stop meaning happy and the word "puss" stop meaning mouth? I would love to bring that back.

When will they make a movie called, A Day Without Esperanto?

If JD Salinger will come out of his reclusive life and hold a press conference to say, it's pronounced Sal EENGER. Then walk away.

If a Native American will answer Glen Campbell's Rhinestone Cowboy with a song called Sequined Indian.

December 26, 2008

By the way, my power to kill celebrities wears off on others

I forgot to mention if you know me, you soon get the vibe to kill celebrities. For instance, my father in law within days killed Red Buttons and Glenn Ford by asking if they were still alive.

Well yesterday, I was driving in the car with my wife and Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby came on. My wife uttered the famous words, She's still alive right?

Sorry Eartha, did not mean to put a damper on you on Xmas. But I guess I really know when it is time to go.

December 22, 2008

Christmas Memories

I love Christmas. Whether it is raining, snowing or the sun is shining, it is always a beautiful day.

I hope everyone has a a great holiday. With that, I would like to share one of my favorite quotes from the late New York Yankee legend Billy Martin that he said leaving his family to go home on Christmas night.

"Oh, I can drive."

Thanks Billy! Happy Holidays!!

December 17, 2008

Dear Santa, I would like a Hannah Montana Jacket, Jonas Brothers Concert Tickets oh and for Uncle Andres to stop molesting me and my sister

I guess Santa wanted to be the only one who sneaks into peoples homes at night.

A nine-year old girl in Texas wrote a letter to Santa and asked him to stop molesting her and her sister. According to Yahoo:

Police allege that for as long as four years, Andres Enrique Cantu sexually abused the girls in their bedrooms while they slept or did their homework. Cantu is a computer lab aide at an alternative high school but has not been accused of crimes against students there.

The 9-year-old's plea to Santa, written as a school assignment, launched the investigation and led to the first charge of continuous sexual abuse last week. On Tuesday, Cantu was accused of abusing the girl's older sister, who was also mentioned in the letter.


Way to go Kris Kringle!

December 15, 2008

LOOK, I HAVE A BEER!

I have always wondered why people say I only smoke when I drink. I am a firm believer those who do act as if they are still think they are in High School/College trying to garner attention and say, “Hey! Look what I can do.” It's like if your are going to smoke, SMOKE!

On that note, here is another attention grabbing item that drives me insane. The head tilting, look everybody I have a beer in my hand picture.

You know who you are. You are getting ready to pose for a picture and your beer (or alcoholic beverage of choice) must be in the shot coupled with the head tilt. Even worse are those whose beverage is on the table and they pick it up to include it in the shot and put it back down when the picture is over. This does not age discriminate either.

Since the keen eye cannot tell you are drinking a beer, you tilt your head towards the beer to acknowledge that you have the beer and you actually are drinking and enjoying this beverage. Good for you!!! You did it!!

Please, if you see this person, regardless of age, punch them in the face for me.

Look at these jack asses!



















December 12, 2008

Wedding CD's

Weddings can sometimes be really fun. One of the cool ideas I think that has been around for a few years are the wedding Cd's. But now, I am over it and here is why.

I was just talking to my colleague Christine who told me she was listening to a wedding CD and Motley Crue's "Without You" came on. Because without you I am nothing or as the song says, without you I will slowly wilt and die. ENOUGH!

We Belong, Without You, I Can't Live if living is without you! Shania Twain, Rascal Flatts, Celine Dion or Mariah Carey??!! Grow a pair people. We know you love each other. Aren't we here because of this? Do I need to have a copy of these ridiculous songs to make that evident? Aren't we watching your first dance to this against our will?

Make a CD that makes people remember how cool this wedding was. Not what some dude or chick who did not write the song for you! That is why Frank Zappa said he did not write ballads. So some schmuck would sit there and go, this is about me or about us. NO, IT IS NOT!

My wedding music was brilliant. How many weddings had KISS or Pat Boone singing Judas Priest? Throw in some Louis Prima, Sinatra. Damn, even some 50 cent who I can care less for. Songs that make people have a good time, not turning into a sappy love fest of swimming in your love ocean.

JUST STOP IT! Seriously, STOP IT!

December 11, 2008

Macaulay Culkin's Sister Killed in Traffic Accident

Earlier this week, Macauley Culkin's sister was killed in a traffic accident in LA.

This makes me wonder if everyone made this face when they found out?


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December 5, 2008

Add Mr. Bentley to the list

For most people that know me, they know that I have the power to kill celebrities just by thinking about them. Some of my victims are:

Harvey Korman
Rudy Ray Moore
Jane Wyman
David Brinkley
John Denver
Anna Nicole Smith

Today is no different. Yesterday for some reason I was thinking that except George and Mr. Bentley, that pretty much the entire cast of the Jefferson's is dead.

I go to the LATIMES.COM and see this today!!!

Paul Benedict, the actor who played the eccentric English neighbor Harry Bentley on the sitcom "The Jeffersons," was found dead Monday at his home on Martha's Vineyard, Mass. He was 70.

I always tend to get people saying, well don't think about me! I always tell them that it only works with celebs/well known people.

Usually it starts out by reading something or a random thought and then I think, I wonder what happened to this person. For example:

One day I am reading a book and I see a name that I thought said David Brinkley. I then thought, what ever happened to him. Dead the next day.

Another day when I was in college, somebody was talking about John Denver. I thought to myself, there is a guy you do not see anymore. Next day, dead in a plane crash.

Usually I give myself a two week grace period. But it does not take that long.

I am magical!

I swear, I sometimes scare myself. Yet somehow remain enamored.

December 2, 2008

Buffalo Soldier vs. The Theme Song from the Banana Splits

I would like to call out Bob Marley for being a plagiarist.

The next time you have an opportunity, listen to his Buffalo Soldier vs. The Banana Splits theme.

Right after the Buffalo Soldier chorus you hear WOAH YO YO, WOAH YO YO YO, etc.

If you are not old enough, here is the Youtube clip. Notice the Tra La La, Tra La, La, La. Sound familiar?



And they call Bob a genius!! HA!