Make it Clap

If you are happy, but completely unaware of it, do you still clap your hands?

Why is it when people that come from England or Australia lose their accents when they sing?

To that end, why do country music artists not from the south sound like they are from the south. Keith Urban? Merle Haggard? C'mon Merle, you are from fricken Bakersfield, CA and you are also not an OKIE from Muskogee!

I saw a woman whose first name was Marbelle. I thought it would be funny if she married the Scorpions drummer Herman Rarebell. Her name would be Marbelle Rarbell.

Now that Danny Gans has sadly passed away, do Rita Rudner and Lance Burton feel a sigh of releif that now they can become the entertainer of the year. More importantly, does Wayne Newton get his old job back?

And Then There's No Maude

Such a sad day. Bea Arthur, star of Maude and The Golden Girls is dead.

Thank you for being a friend Bea. Thank You.

Random Musings

When is reinventing oneself not selling out?

At least Jimi Hendrix and Michael Hutchense choked with dignity. What can be said year after year of the San Jose Sharks?

What are conservatives conserving?

Are gay men in Quebec openly Guy?

My Son is not a Monster

I just read the presser after on the guy who killed LA Angel Nick Adenhart, Andrew Gallo and his court appearance.

Apparently, his father, Thomas Gallo says the family are receiving death threats and those same people believe his son is a monster.

I am sorry, I am 100 percent behind Thomas Gallo here. His son is not a monster.

Grover, Ernie, Cookie and Elmo are monsters. I like Monsters. His son is a drunk and a murderer. A murderer on three counts.

Then, his mom Sandra went on to say, "It was an accident,he never meant to hurt anybody, ever."

Ok, how many DUI's does a guy need for his enabler mom to see the light? If you drink, you become what alcohol makes you. A murderer.

So to recap:

Cute Lovable Furry Monster







Murderer





I love enablers.

Enough of it!

OK, I get it. Susan Boyle is unattractive and yet sings like the lead in Heavens Choir.

How many times do I have to see this damn video and have every one play on how ugly she is but sounds amazing.

Why don't you just talk about her voice rather than focus on the fact that the chick has never been kissed or what have you.

Oh ya, otherwise we wouldn't care and she would be just another Julie Andrews or Sarah Brightman.

By All Means, Please be a Cowboy

So I am driving in my car the last few days and I have seen a few cars that have the sticker to let everyone know to Cowboy Up or Shut Up.

So in response to these folks and their fascination to be cowboys, I would like the following rules to be applied to their lives:

From now on, you cannot drive a car. You can only use a wagon or ride a horse.

You can no longer drink water from the tap or a bottle, you must go to a well.

You can no longer dress in any modern fashion. I want to see chaps, spurs, hats, bandannas and boots. No jeans as they were not around then either.

You can only live on a ranch or in a tent.

You can no longer go to the grocery store and buy food. You can only grow or raise food.

Modern appliances are of no use to you. You cannot watch any television,use the computer,listen to the radio, get the phone or anything for that matter than involves electricity.

You cannot use fed ex or any overnight service to send mail and you have to wait the normal month to get a letter.

You cannot take a plane, bus or subway. Train is acceptable. But you will still go to jail if you rob it.

If your home is on fire or somebody needs help, you cannot call 911.

So go ahead, cowboy up.

Something Tells Me His New Pals Will Not "Let it Be."

Now that Phil Spector was found guilty of Second Degree Murder, I think his songs may come back to haunt him when he meets his new inmates.

Songs you may hear Phil start singing in the house.


* "To Know Him Is to Love Him"
* "Every Breath I Take" – Gene Pitney
* "I Love How You Love Me" – The Paris Sisters
* "He Knows I Love Him Too Much"
* "Let Me Be the One"
* "Second Hand Love"
* "He's A Rebel"
* "He's Sure the Boy I Love"
* "(Today I Met) The Boy I’m Gonna Marry"
* "Then He Kissed Me"
* "Wait ’Til My Bobby Gets Home"
* "Be My Baby" – The Ronettes
* "A Fine Fine Boy" – Darlene Love
* "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"
* "The Long and Winding Road")

Marylin Chambers is dead

Porn legend Marylin Chambers was found dead at her home today. It is unclear if they found her behind the green door.

I Guess He Ran Out of Hit Points

Dave Arneson, one of the co-creators of the Dungeons & Dragons has died.

It is unclear now who will play the role of dungeon master.

Such is Life

Who is Barry Manilow thinking of taking to that Weekend in New England? My guess is Randy.

Why do we forgive NFL Steroid users and not Major League Baseball's?

Why do we stare at our cell phones instead of talking to others on them?

When will Elton John dedicate Candle in the Wind to Natasha Richardson?

What says I love you more than the stencil epitaph on the car window? I am thinking of renting out my car window to use as an epitaph for those whose 95 year old grandmothers and gang-banger children have died.

Random Musings

I don't think you can say you have ran a marathon when you walked portions of it.

Do you think Barry Manilow had a guy named Randy in mind when he wrote Mandy?

I think if you got caught between the moon and New York City, chances are you will fall to your death.

Now that Life on Mars is done, when will Life on Uranus begin?

I am still trying to find two people who still watch ER. Anyone?