People You Cannot Trust

I was thinking the other day of people in life you cannot trust anything with. Or maybe they just annoy the living hell out of me. So I decided to make a list. Here is what I came up with. Not in any order.

1. The Perpetual Duh – This is the person who has their mouth open even when they are not talking. They sit there and you can just think in your head, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. They just stare into space and just have that look like they are about to go into a stroke or kill somebody’s cat. Seriously, close your mouth!

2. I Must Wear An Undershirt With Everything Guy, Even Over An Undershirt – I mean, did your grandmother tell you to wear a shirt underneath your shirt before you went outside? I know you are 40 now but come on!

3. Its 120 Degrees Outside So I Must Wear Pants and A Long Sleeve Jacket and If You Are Lucky Play Basketball In The Same Outfit. No explanation necessary.

4. I Go To Karaoke Bars So I Can Be Discovered – Thank You for ruining the time of pretty much everybody at bar by your over singing and selection of serious songs. This is why you are in a karaoke bar and not on tour.

5. The Dead Rock Star Expert – Ah yes, the person who buys greatest hits album of a recently deceased music legend and suddenly becomes expert of said legend. You know who you are Johnny Cash fans.

I think he is the youngest boy to fake his death

Now this would freak anyone out, but I think he may be the youngest boy ever to fake his death.

In Paraguay, a baby boy that was born 4 months premature was declared dead at the hospital. Hours later at his wake, he woke up and let everyone know he was still alive.

According to his doctor, he weighed only 500 grams when he was born and did not have a heartbeat. Therefore, they declared him dead.

So the family was given the death certificate and a makeshift cardboard coffin. Because that is how they roll in Paraguay.

So they come to the wake, they opened up the box and low and behold the baby is crying,kicking and screaming leading everybody to freak out.

Just in case you are wondering,Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Lose vs. Loose

I have never considered myself a grammar scholar. But I do know a few things.

The opposite of winning is losing, not loosing.

When you do not win a game, you lose a game. You do not loose a game.

When an article of clothing is not tight on you, then it is loose. You do not own a lose pair of jeans and your tooth is not lose.

Make sense? Book it.